Your mouth was like silk Your hands, a duvet So careful to hold me right and knew just what to say The ink on your arm Was your heart on your sleeve But I learned it was only artwork, so I had to leave And I can’t unsee your eyes, angry with me I won’t fix it I can’t risk it Bold words coming fast To help me out of the woods I thought my years living in a nightmare warranted a little good Cold words spilling out Stuffed to bursting with gall Paint me crazy and cruel when I vow "it’s not worth it at all" But you don’t know me or my perfect memory No, you can’t expect me to forgive and forget Why do I try? Why do I try? They just make me cry So why I do try? I thought I deserved a little good But now I know better like I should have all along It’s deadly to hope for better days I thought I deserved a little good How did I end up with so little good? I guess I deserve such little good No better days I guess I deserve it I guess I deserve it I know I’m not worth it

You won’t hurt me anymore The feeling leaves me, oh please believe me It’s over now, but I’ll sit on your couch And regret the explosion of words from last time Cuz my time with you was time ill-spent I wanna know you There’s nothing I can do To turn it around, sit next to you So I look back on the time When we’d play our blind game We’re sitting on your bed We’re trying to remember the “no pain” Don’t look at me now Just pull your blindfold down And the good days They’d all pass in a blur And now I’ve understood this moment with you This blind game with you You hold your fears, but you wear a mask Keeping it inside, what are you trying to hide? But I won’t admit that I’m tired of dancing Around every brick wall your mind has built up Cuz my time with you will frustrate I wanna know you I guess you never knew We’re wasting time, let’s shut our eyes Where we can see what we wanna see Chorus So can you relax? Lie on your back Ignore the eyestrain And play the game Maybe this time I’ll blink and you’ll be gone I don’t wanna open my eyes Let’s just play our blind game Chorus You won’t hurt me anymore

Heard them talk about their dreams Heard them say that it was me Drawn in comic books and written in the movies They say “look at her, that girl is such a Jolene, she’s a daydream.” Hop a train and take it home Whispers of “is she alone?” Force a smile and say “oh, no no no” Sweet as honey, fake as news You’re a goddess, you’re a muse What’s it like to be a myth? Give my spirit, give my heart I think I’m funny, think I’m smart They stay unsurprised, they’ve memorized my profile ‘Cause they’ve read my novels, seen the films, and know me Their daydream A light goes on inside my head He didn’t hear a word I said Stared at my mouth and cheeks and eyes instead Says he’s sorry, but he’s not I’m just so pretty, he forgot And that’s what matters to him. So I fix my face with colours all over my skin And I check my weight; remind myself it’s die or be thin Spending money, spending time Fixating on each curve and line Spectators bought their seats for the show So I’m here to amaze ‘Cause this is all they care about These things you can’t complain about Don’t lament, don’t say a word Girl, your problems are absurd What’s it like to be a flower field amongst men? They say sadness is just arrogance in plainclothes They don’t know Everyone has made it clear All that matters is the mirror What’s a mind worth when you look like that? “Shut your mouth!” they all exclaim “You’re so lucky! Wanna trade?” Well, I’d be happy to trade. Because I hate my face; my ugly anxiety skin Then I eat my weight, too hungry and tired to be thin Terrified to let it go Stuck up here on this pedestal The ground is such a long way to fall Still, I don’t complain I just disappoint them every time When I don’t stay within their lines And this is all they care about These things you can’t complain about, don’t It’s not atypical, it’s the usual Dripping with pearls ‘cause they told me I was beautiful Enough to think it’s all I’ve got This pressure never ever ends ‘Cause they don’t want me, they just want me And that’s okay, I’m always unwanted anyway If I’m an empty shell you bet I’m gonna wear it well I’ll make myself your dream I’ll be what you want me to be! Just stay with me! I want my face to be fictitious, but it can’t be attained And I check my frame, and shrink to fit the stencil they made (I'm nothing if not made up!) Look at her, she looks the part But keeping up is really hard I do my best, adjust as I go (I'm nothing) Til I’m their Mary Jane (Fictitious, but it can't be attained) ‘Cause that’s what they expect and I Am nothing if I don’t comply It’s nothing to complain about.

Step to the curb as I'm glancing behind me Looking for someone to call Frost on the ground and cigarettes on the sidewalk Was so sick and tired of fall As long as I keep it together and notice the windows alight Sooner or later I'll see past the cold turning my world white It was a long day trying to get through to you Past the ice that encrusted your heart I know I can't melt you Autumn's got another month - looks like winter's come early this year Believe me, I know. Heard the door slam as you follow in my wake "Don't you dare step on that road!" Watching a storm rage and pile inside you Like rooftops right after it snowed You tell me I should've known better You plead with me, you beg me to stay ("don't go!") I turn on my heel and look you in the eye With fire, I start to say, "It's a tough haul, trying to get through to you When you're forty below every day, I know And it's not fair walking in to be betrayed Well, your side dish told me everything Believe me, I know!" You try to explain yourself better But I've had enough of your blight I shake my head at you and tell you goodbye And leave you standing in the night I find my way home 'round eleven Where lamplight is painted in gold Things start to warm up with friends and their laughter And soon I don't feel so cold But it was a hard time, trying to get through to you When you were sneaking 'round behind me I know that I trusted all the frozen parts of you I was wrong! Take your lies and your snow Because now I know.

One morning I read a group of ravens is called an unkindness And a group of vultures is a wake That very same day, my therapist mentioned a vulture That she saw on an island during her spring break She said “didn’t you know vultures are a symbol of rebirth?” I said “isn’t that odd? That’s why I’m here.” ‘Cause I fell in love, buried every seed of reason and rhyme And now I’m pulling the 10 of Swords every time As I’m lying face down with those swords sticking out of my spine That wake of vultures seeks to dine And I’m pulling the 10 of Swords every time Each night I awake in an Arctic Ocean of sweat With visions of you in a terrible dream It was you and I on a cliff, lying naked in the Ireland sun And a thousand birds of prey circling the scene I looked over at you as they picked away at your eyes and your heart And I heard one say “it’s a sky burial, ‘cause he cannot stay” So they carried you off to the afterlife and they flew away But I clung to your bones, I couldn’t let you go As they pulled at my skin with their beaks, I told them no. (Please stop the wake, I am awake Just wait a sec, we’re not dead yet) ‘Cause I fell in love, with crimson lights sweeping over my head While a candid bird sleeps in my bed As I’m lying face down with those talons sinking into my spine That wake of vultures seeks to dine And I’m pulling the 10 of Swords every time I’m not stupid, you know I know what that stupid card means A harrowed truth, not unforeseen To the vultures, I offer up my love for him Please take it and bring it to the realm of friends I’ll be okay I can weather that storm, I can handle that hurt Though they reek of the dead, these vultures will bring rebirth I fell in love, fell in love with the love of my life I can let him go and still hold him tight And I stand like a bird, braced for pain that leaves a permanent scar But my witching hands won’t draw that card And my witching throat will sing a new song I’ll be okay They won’t eat til I’m dead and gone ‘Cause a vulture’s timing’s never wrong